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This month Lesley Cryer gives a realistic account of a writer's lot, Ten Top Tips covers how to present the perfect manuscript, plus student success stories, useful websites, a fantastic competition and inspiration for articles.
EXPERT ADVICE
Say Goodbye to the Nine to Five
by Lesley Cryer
Earning your living as a writer really does have a lot going for it - on paper at least. Work hours which suit you, doing something you enjoy and getting paid - sounds ideal, doesn't it? But be warned, being a writer isn't without one or two pitfalls.
It's true that there's very little which beats the thrill of popping into W.H. Smith's or Waterstone's and seeing your books on the shelf. It's even better if you see someone actually flicking through a copy. On such occasions I used to lurk nearby watching them fixedly to see their reaction. It was only with extreme difficulty that I stopped myself from trying to convince them that the paperback in their hand was well worth £6.99.
I was convinced that the staff of my local branch of W.H. Smith's thought I was deranged, because whenever I was in there I set about rearranging the shelves to display my own novels to greater advantage.
I was reassured to read that this is a trait shared almost universally by writers, but it's hard to imagine Jilly Cooper breezing into the Stroud Smith's and behaving in a similar fashion. Although I suppose that when there's already a seven foot stand stacked with your novels and the walls are plastered with posters advertising the latest one, you don't really need to.
It becomes an obsession with writers to enter any book shop they pass to see if it has their books in stock. If they can't find any, they emerge disconsolate, their day ruined. Once I returned home from a trip into town so downcast at being unable to find a single one of my novels in Waterstone's, that I telephoned them. Having identified myself as an author and told the manager of the fiction section the names under which I write, I asked querulously why the shelves were bereft of my work. He told me diplomatically (but probably not altogether truthfully) that they'd sold out, but stressed that he had re-ordered. To mollify me further he then asked if I would like to come in to do a signing. I felt churlish when I replied that I wouldn't, but the truth is I'd rather unblock a drain with a teaspoon.
I'm aware that to many aspiring writers the invitation would be an intoxicating one, but a friend of mine once witnessed a best-selling, high-profile author sitting alone behind a massive stack of her latest novel at just such a signing. Although the shop was crowded, no-one went near her. Eventually, my friend felt so sorry for her she bought a copy, even though she was not an admirer of her work. Quite frankly I can live without the prospect of such a public humiliation.
One of the best aspects of being a writer is that you usually work at home. Which means no more driving into town in rush hour traffic, arriving at work practically psychotic with rage. Instead you can get right down to it as soon as you get up in the morning.
On the other hand, editors and clients think nothing of phoning you late at night, at the crack of dawn or in the middle of Sunday lunch to talk to you about whatever's on their mind. Don't even think about telling them they've phoned at an inconvenient time - their goodwill is vital to your career. I dread the day video phones become the norm. It's easy to pretend to be alert, bright and breezy on the phone at nine in the morning after staying up until 2 a.m. to meet a tight deadline. But a video phone would reveal the sordid truth - I'm still in my dressing gown, my face has the the pallor of the freshly exhumed and I'm downing my third cup of coffee in a desperate attempt to jump start my creative faculties.
Being a writer can make for interesting encounters at parties. No conversation is ever wasted because you can always learn something new and benefit from a fresh perspective on a subject. A casual remark may trigger off an idea which can be developed into an article, a short story or even a novel. This can backfire on you of course. Express an interest in the fact that someone is a high-flier in extruded piping and you can stand there for hours, unable to escape, while they hold forth on the topic in mind-numbing detail. But happily I used to be a copywriter and over the years I've written about many technical subjects ranging from fibre optics to plastic gaskets. No party bore is going to out-bore me. I can play them at their own game and talk indefinitely on a wide range of equally uninspiring themes.
Then there's the party bore who's convinced that their life would make a fascinating basis for a book. Invariably it wouldn't. Or the ones who tell you they'd write a book but they're far too busy (probably watching satellite TV). Think of them as an occupational hazard.
Possibly the biggest problem for burgeoning writers is pecuniary insecurity. As a self-employed writer financial planning is a potential minefield and the situation needs reviewing constantly to keep it in accurate perspective. You really do have to keep meticulous accounts, as much for your own sake as for HM Revenue & Customs. Sometimes it can be difficult to get paid for work done and you have to pursue the money with terrier-like tenacity, which is both tiresome and time-consuming.
In an ideal world, any writer would have another source of income, or a partner with a secure job. Some bank or building society managers get nervous at the idea of lending money to anyone in what they consider to be a precarious (or even nefarious) profession. On the other hand, if you have a book published there's always a possibility it will become a bestseller, and the royalty cheques will just keep on coming. Most people in salaried jobs have to rely on the lottery or premium bonds for their pipe dreams.
And writing can be an unstable profession, not only because it's affected by the prevailing winds of the financial climate, but because of the notorious whimsicality of fickle editors. You might have articles published in a particular magazine for three or four months in a row. Never assume that this is going to be an ongoing situation. Your next three pieces could easily be rejected and you'll never be able to work out why. It may be that a new editor has been appointed and he or she could well bring in their own writers and you can wave goodbye to your column space. Luckily this can also work in your favour and the editor who likes your work may move to a different publication and suggest you write for that. Bear in mind that you can't have too many sources and cast your net as wide as possible. Never, ever, miss a deadline because if you do and you leave a harassed editor with inches to fill at short notice, you'll certainly never work for them again. They won't be remotely interested in your excuses, however convincing. In their book, your own death would only just rate as an excuse and a pretty feeble one at that.
All scribblers, at one time or another, come across the dreaded writer's block. There are few things quite as unnerving as a completely blank screen on your computer and a mind to match.
If you're working to a deadline, this is something you can't allow yourself to admit the existence of. You just have to start writing and hope that in the end it comes together. I've always found that the terror of a tight deadline focuses the mind wonderfully and I can work really fast under pressure. But if it's a self-imposed deadline, suddenly a whole host of enticing alternative activities present themselves. I might decide I need some reference material and have to go into town. And if I'm doing that I may as well meet someone for lunch. And then go shopping...
Personally I think I'm fairly self-disciplined, but I do know people who, given a week to write a feature, won't actually start work on it until twenty-four hours before it's wanted, then work through the night in a caffeine-fuelled panic and need to spend three days recovering.
But despite all the pitfalls, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. There can't be many other professions where reading widely is an integral (and often tax deductible) part of the job. And anything you do, anywhere you go, anyone you meet, can all be mentally filed away for future use in an article or book.
Writing is something that a vast number of people want to do, at least as an additional interest (and income) if not full time. But it's not a talent everyone has, so you can be justifiably proud when you have anything published. And best of all, it beats the grind of the nine to five any day.
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Lesley Cryer is a freelance writer and part-time university lecturer with a General Arts degree in English and American literature. The author of fourteen contemporary novels, four period novels and a humorous book, she has also written for children’s TV and the BBC. She has been a regular contributor of short stories and features to national publications and produced scripts on a wide variety of subjects for independent film and video production companies.
